Oof.

Today was longggggg. One big fight to avoid alcohol. All the classic HALT symptoms–hungry because I didn’t have a good breakfast and relied on crap to get me through the day, angry =annoyed at a work issue that made me feel…insecure and mad, what does L stand for? Lonely! Lonely because I was working at home and bored, and Tired due to sleeping terribly again the last few nights. Sooooooo tired.

I’m glad I didn’t give in and drink…I really did have to walk myself through all of what would happen if I did–the headache would be worse, I’d be more tired, I’d get another terrible night of sleep, miss workouts again tomorrow, it would do nothing for my self-esteem that was already fragile today….really not worth it when you put it that way, but the desire to drink is often stronger than reason. My rational brain won out today. 

I also thought a lot about how I used alcohol to disconnect anytime I was having a bad day–obviously an unhealthy habit emotionally, but now I have to relearn how to deal with disappointment etc without reaching for that crutch. Pah.

Bedtime, I’ll try life again tomorrow!