Temper Tantrums

So, this morning I managed to have an epic temper tantrum at 8am for absolutely no reason than getting up on the wrong side of the bed. I woke up, with a headache and exhausted (sigh), got up and couldn’t find my running clothes, decided to go to work instead of finding them…I made it to my bike outside and started crying. No reason except for exhaustion and FRUSTRATION with being so damn tired. I’ve been trying melatonin at night to sleep better this week–nope, Fitbit says I sleep, but I wake up with a pounding headache and wanting to go back to sleep. I think I’ll drop that “fix”! I never ever ever take painkillers and I’ve resorted to Advil to survive the day two out of the last three days.

Went back to bed and hid under the covers for another 2 hours (and cancelled a work meeting…doing the bare minimum today). Cuddled with my puppy who seemed to realize I needed hugs and cuddles (and kisses. NO, Molly, NO). My poor husband went to work an hour late after trying to make me feel better (angel, that one). I’d love to say all is right with the world again but I’m just blah now. I made it through the 3 hours of teaching that I had to do. I’m going to go home and skip some more meetings. Be nice to myself…

BLAH. Thankfully I have no meetings tomorrow so I can work from home. And it’s a 3 day weekend so I can try to catch up on sleep/sanity before Tuesday. A break is in sight too…I’m done teaching for the summer on June 7. Other work stresses will pop their head up then but teaching is really my biggest stress.

I’m whiney lately! Where’s this much-hyped pink cloud?

39.

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9 thoughts on “Temper Tantrums”

  1. Oh boy can I relate! I am like a bear with a sore head. Nobody can say or do anything to appease me. Is it withdrawal, lack of sleep or a combination? Please tell me when to expect the pink cloud, I am only day 16! Bet you can’t wait for the end of school x

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    1. Pretty sure it’s lack of sleep and that these melatonin pills don’t agree with me–I’ve only been waking up with a pounding head when I’ve taken them. I have always been a terrible sleeper so eh who knows what is (lack of) alcohol related and what isnt. I was just hoping that quitting alcohol would magically make me into a good sleeper! The withdrawal headaches went away in the first week or so for me.

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      1. Melatonin is a funny thing. A lot of people withdrawing from anti depressants suffer insomnia and use melatonin to sleep. But the recommended dose is more often than not too high for most people and can have a negative effect. My husband gets very lucid dreams when he takes it and hates the feeling. Perhaps try taking a smaller amount and seeing how it goes?

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  2. Rather than drown your emotions in booze or suppress them, you expressed them, I think that’s a good thing! Not sure if you are a bath kind of gal but I find lavender and Epsom salts after a gentle workout makes me sleep like a log. Neals Yard also do some nice soaks. xx

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  3. Try to look at it as part of the healing process that you’re going through. I think it’s great that you were able to crawl back into bed! Nothing like puppy love! And a good man by your side! Some people like magnesium- it’s a muscle relaxer. I will say that my own sleep pattern didn’t improve for about 4 months! While laying awake and frustrated I just kept reminding myself that it was better than being awake because I’d been drinking that night and beating myself up over it. You’re doing great! It’s a process! xx

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  4. Sorry to hear that you were/are feeling not well today. Hope things clear up for you quickly. And, as FreeFalling says: try to see it as a process. Most of us have been abusing our bodies for very many years, it does not ‘just’ turnaround ‘behave’ all of a sudden. Answers will come, give it time. You are doing great! I mean: feeling bad and taking care of yourself = GREAT!. Not thinking that a drink or one or two will solve your issues = GREAT! Getting out here and writing = GREAT! 🙂
    xx, Feeling

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  5. Great advice here. I suppose the fear is that things won’t get better and will remain shit for the rest of our lives. It won’t though, it will pass, and our brains and bodies will get back to a good place again. I’m in around the same zone as you for not drinking, and my sleep is a bit all over the place too. Hang in there!

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